Tessa Marie

Words, to me, seem so trite when truly attempting to express sorrow mourning, or grief. As a missionary in Brazil, upon learning from a close friend that her child that had been hospitalized for several weeks had passed away, I leaned to the person next me to inquire what the proper Portuguese words were to convey sympathy......"sinto muito", came the reply...."sinto muito???", "sim, sinto muito". Translation..... "I feel a lot". see, trite.....words. hollow. not enough. How could I expect to convey my love, sympathy, and heartache for this friend who had just lost her child with words, and especially "sinto muito"?

This week, again, I felt the ineptness of words, or be it my ability to put them to use, to express sorrow, support, love, and mourning, as I watched my brother and his dear wife cradle the lifeless body of the most beautiful newborn I have ever looked upon, asleep for eternity. My nephews 9 and 11 held her, wept over her, and traced the lines of her perfect little brow, delicate chin, and determined cheeks with their fingers. I could not contain my tears as I watched 12 year old Brielle strain to comprehend her mother's sorrow. Nor while watching two grandmothers weep over life lost, and my strong handsome brother shed tears as he explained his desire to raise this child and the depth of his sorrow.

Tessa Marie Fowler, seven lbs, 20 inches, you have changed my heart forever. Etched forever in our calendars, October 9th, Tessa's day. Etched forever in our hearts, Christ's promise and loving atonement and how IT, affects my tie to you. .

As words do not properly convey my sorrow, neither do they properly convey my love and devotion to our Savior Jesus Christ, who has made it possible that I will see my niece again. Christ who also made it possible that my brother and his sweet and broken wife, will have the chance to know and raise this little one and have her throughout the eternities. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. And, through sharing what I know of the plan of salvation and the happiness it can bring to the lives of others, I feel somewhat relieved of the unyielding burden of sadness that accompanies death and separation. With knowledge of Christ and Hs gospel comes hope, life, Spring, faith, love, and happiness.

I will miss you Tessa. I will help your young brothers and sisters understand how you are a symbol of hope in their lives, and in all of our lives. Words cannot express my love for your courage to come to earth, sorrow at the relationship I will have to wait to develop, and joy in the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ.