I just finished the book Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall, in which, among other things, he proposes that distance running, as evidenced by the Tarahumara tribe of the Copper Canyons in Northern Mexico, "was mankind's first fine art", and man's "original act of inspired creation." More poignantly, McDougall proffers, that perhaps there is a connection between a mans capacity to love and his capacity to love running. He states that "the engineering [is] certainly the same: both depend[] on loosening your grip on your own desires, putting aside what you want[] and appreciating what you've got, being patient and forgiving and ... undemanding ...." He surmises, "maybe we shouldn't be surprised that getting better at one could make you better at the other.”
I sit here in a new apartment, overlooking a new city, and contemplate new horizons. I left Nevada almost exactly a year ago today. I left because I chose to, because I felt the ceiling on my emotional and spiritual progress there was stifling due to my own unmet expectations and resultant restlessness and heartache.
I visited Vegas last weekend and found myself struggling with sadness for the loss of closeness to friends and loved ones there. I miss the comfort of old friends, of a running partner who is at the end of her driveway each morning come rain or shine, of waves and smiles from the kids at church, evening walks and weekend shopping trips, lending a hand with a scout project, bumping into a friend at the grocery store, watching friends' kids grow up year after year - attending their band concerts, their school musicals, subbing their seminary classes, being asked to "take them driving" when they got their permits, and getting texts from them way too late at night.
What do these feelings have to do with running, and the Tarahumara tribe, or my recent move to Colorado? I think they tie together like this: It is okay that my heart aches for my friends. It is good that I miss them. It shows that I allowed my heart-roots to plant, and to love. I think it is important for me to realize that those feelings are healthy, and in no way diminish the propriety of the decision for change. Likewise however, those feelings also provide a formula that I will be wise to apply here in this new place.
Applying McDougall's theory to a broader scope than distance running, I think that making the choice to invest also enhances ones ability to love, and vise versa. To truly live, to invest fully in life and people, also requires an individual to loosen grip on his/her own desires, to put aside what he may want just for himself, that he appreciate the things he has, be patient with himself and others, be forgiving and realize that not all of his expectations will be met.
The better we become at living fully and investing in those around us, the more richly we can love. The deeper we allow ourselves to love and feel and grow with people, the richer our lives (and theirs) will become. After all, we know "he that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" Matthew 10:39
Summing it up, I guess what I'm thinking, is that while it's okay I miss my friends in Nevada, I'd be a fool to let that grief keep me from investing just as fully in a new place, and with new people. My friends from Nevada.....and college and DC, and BYU, and Dixie High, and Fiji and Brazil are treasures. They will always be treasures to me, and I will look forward to continued friendship and association with them forever. BUt, I will ned to loosen my grip on those folks, put away my sadness and nervousness, appreciate what a great opportunity lies ahead of me right now.... I will look to the future excited to find more wonderful people, and places and lives in which to invest and share, and pray that as I increase in the ability to do so, my ability to love and become a better person will expand. And, perhaps as McDougall states..... maybe some day I'll look back, and realize that getting better at one (investing in new people and places) actually made me better at giving love and being loved in return.
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